What do we mean by "Troubled Teen"

New Life Academy is a distinguished Christian boarding school for troubled teens. Our definition of a troubled teen is any child that is Angry, Rebellious, and/or Defiant towards their parents or any Governing authority. We minister to troubled teens in a unique way that deals with the inner-self rather than with the outer seen appearance or behavior. However, we are here to define our definition of a "troubled teen" not our approached in ministering to our students. We understand that your troubled teen did not get that way overnight. We understand that her poor choices and circumstances that were beyond her control have slowly eroded the foundation like a Florida sink-hole that collapses at the last moment surprising everyone around

this huge hole except the one that fell in, she has been "conditioned" to slowly accept every step that took her further away from her family and downward in a spiral path of destruction. The troubled teen that we refer to is really a kid that has grown to be "conditioned" to be angry, defiant, rebellious, and disrespectful toward her parents or any governing authority. She takes everything for granted, lives her life unaccountable to everyone, is unmotivated but eager to impress her negative peer group at whatever cost to gain their acceptance and approval. Today's troubled teen is verbally and mentally abusive toward their parents. To the outside world your teen is kind, gentle, polite, and blends in with most law-abiding teens.

Yes for the most part, many outsiders are fooled not knowing the path of destruction your teen has chosen. To us, a troubled teen is not sadistic, a gangster, a criminal, a bully, a robber, is not brutal, vicious, defiant toward all authority, or any other portrayal that describes someone with a psychological or mental disorder. Our meaning of a troubled teen is what we use to describe a intelligent gifted teen who has gotten their way, has taken advantage of kind parents, and has taken all that has been sacrificed & provided for granted. We are talking about talented, gifted kids that are throwing away what God has so sovereignly gave to them. We are describing teens that have had everything at their disposal but yet only worry about finding favor in the eyes of their negative friends and have no concern of what their parents see, think, or feel.

The troubled teen that we minister to comes from a good hardworking and diligent family. These families have Christian values and come from all Christian backgrounds. Their daughters know the bible better then many adults, but around 12 or 13 years of age they start to question and reason for themselves. First comes the music that conditions their minds, and then comes the clothes that exposes their bodies or is 6x their real size and let's not forget their rendition of the English language that they acquired from the streets and their friends. Before you know it all that was good is now appalling and repulsive to them. Love, obedience, respect has been replaced by ANGER, DEFIANCY AND REBELLION, which in God's eyes is like the form of witchcraft.

Today's troubled teens yell at the top of their voices and demands to be treated as an adult, but turns around and acts as a pre-schooler.

Cultural Limbo

"In modern society, adult status comes many years after adolescence. While a young person achieves physical maturity and wants social independence, she must remain in a position of dependency. She is compelled to continue in the role of student and is not allowed to compete with adults in the job market. She is out of place in the friendship patterns of adults; she has no legitimate outlet for her newly developed drives; she is not allowed to do the things that adults do for enjoyment and relaxation. Seemingly society has no role for her, for she is not a child nor is she an adult. So while children "resign" from children in their early teens, they do not "enlist" in adulthood until they are fully independent, sometimes as much as a decade later. During this entire period, youth are in a cultural limbo, being neither obedient children nor responsible adults."

Harry H. Vorrath & Larry K. Brendtro

Therapy is not what these kinds of kids need. Physc-drugs is not always what they need. Why? How do you know? God never called deviancy, anger, dishonor, disrespect, rebellion and opposition to authority a mental disorder. In fact opposition to any authority is straight out REBELLION & DEFIANCY. What we have here is a disregard to follow God's word and combined with the flagrant acts of dishonoring and disrespecting their parents.

Many of these teens were conditioned and raised without learning to earn or work for what they want. Here in the United States we as good parents want our children to enjoy the fruits of our labor in order to avoid our daughters from being left "WANTING". The adverse affect of this is that they don't learn to appreciate, struggle, or fail & continue to press forward again. They learn to become quitters, if anything remotely looks like it's going to take time, thought, and effort on their behalf, they begin to look for the easy and cheap way to enjoy life. They look for the path of less resistance.

As soon as a hyperactive kid begins to exercise that energy we begin to label them ADD, ADHD, ODD, BI-POLAR, and have them medicated to walk around as a zombie, giving them the excuse to continue in their behavior while using a "band-aid" to mask the real issue here, only to see it rear its ugly head again if the prescription is not refilled.

What we have here is not a mental disorder but a spiritual condition of deprivation from Christ & a gradual weakness of the soul. This is a spiritual battle for her soul. Parent you are living out the beginning of the story of the "Prodigal Son". In trying so hard to bless our children we as parents end up rescuing them from the very things that are intended to help develop them into mature responsible adults. Then the season arrives when they come against us and all that we stand for. We are all guilty of rescuing our children above & beyond what is truly needed.

We live in a society of instant gratification. A "microwave-culture". We are quick to entertain our children and cater to them. We are slow to disappoint them and hesitant to put our foot down. Unfortunately they are never pleased, fulfilled, or content with your sincere efforts, and constantly demand for more. So in order to keep her "HAPPY" we continue to give to the point of damaging the very relationship we are so desperately trying to hold on to.

Growth and maturity are sacrificed in order for her to avoid the very adversity she needs to develop her into a responsible adult. These troubled teens don't need a physc-doctor; they need a sense of reality, a sense of control, and a sense of gratitude for the blessing they have. You can't prescribe respect, discipline, and gratitude. How can Prozac, Ritalin, or Zoloft help a youngster to take responsibility & become accountable, to be considerate to others, or to give of herself without the audacity to demand a reward in return?

New Life Academy does not offer any mental health services. As a matter of fact, we believe that providing therapy that does not point out God's standard to their behavior only feeds into their ingratitude. "Bipolar", "oppositional defiance disorder" is what we like to call their unconstructive behavior instead of instructing, training, and coaching our children. So we arm them with ammunition to blame their "out-of-control" emotions, that nothing is their fault and that it's all mental so their not responsible. Yes, there are times when some kids do really need psychological help, but in our experience most students here where diagnosed undeservedly of ADD, ADHD, or BIPOLAR DISORDER. What we have here is not a mental or psychological disorder but a deteriorating spiritual condition. A condition that only can be dealt with through the introduction of Jesus Christ as her Lord & Savior and through the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. Immaturity is the label your kid deserves not some misdiagnoses. Anger, deviancy, and rebellion is what your daughter is displaying. God proclaimed " rebellion is just like witchcraft". You do not overcome these displays of selfishness and ingratitude with a prescribed drug or therapy? We are all deceiving ourselves. These kids need a reality check and to learn their rightful PLACE within the structure of the family institution.

They need to acquire the discipline, structure and the accountability it takes to achieve the goals that awaits them. They need to grow up and learn to dictate their own future instead of having their friends dictate it for them. They need to live accountable to God and follow the passion Christ had for others less fortunate, to learn to serve others and not take anything for granted, to become grateful and not prideful. At New Life Academy we ask, "How is a therapist going to provide or prescribe a ungrateful, unmotivated kid with obedience & accountability, or a ill-mannered, rude kid with gratefulness?" It doesn't happen.

Dangerous Fad

"...But some experts say the surge in diagnoses is a dangerous fad - one critic called it "psychiatry's flavor of the month" - a decision too often based on skimpy evidence, cursory evaluations and incorrect assumptions about generic risks. These children are troubled, critics say, but most don't meet psychiatry's official diagnostic criteria for the lifelong psychotic disorder." "Laurel L. Williams says she has "un-diagnosed" between 50 and 75 children in the past years who had been declared bipolar by other physicians, mostly psychiatrists." "If one doesn't work, the doctor's answer is to just keep adding more and more medications" or increasing the doses".     THE PALM BEACH POST FEB.24,2005

Society has conditioned our children to think that what is portrayed on television and what is played over secular radio is the rightful reflection of the American Family. Without acknowledging Christ as their Lord & Savior there is nothing that can spiritually transform your daughters way of life, we ought not be surprised. We as the Body of Christ need to take back what has been stolen from us and give them back to God our Father.

"Heavenly Father,

• We come before You today to ask Your Forgiveness and seek Your direction and guidance.
• We know Your Word says, ''Woe to those who call evil good,'' but that's exactly what we have done.
• We have lost our Spiritual equilibrium and inverted our values.
• We confess that; we have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your Word and called it pluralism;
• We have worshipped other gods and called it multiculturalism;
• We have endorsed perversion and called it an alternative lifestyle;
• We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery;
• We have neglected the needy and called it self preservation;
• We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare;
• We have killed our unborn and called it choice;
• We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable;
• We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem;
• We have abused power and called it political savvy;
• We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition;
• We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression;
• We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, O God, and know our hearts today; try us and see if there be some wicked way in us; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent here by the people of this state and who have been ordained by You, to govern this great state of Kansas. Grant them your wisdom to rule and may their decisions direct us to the center of Your Will. I ask in in the name of your Son, The Living Savior, Jesus Christ"        MINSTER JOE WRIGHT

And, we wonder, have we been so complacent as a nation, to stay in the kettle like frogs who wont jump out because they don't feel the heat or worse, they have gotten used to it and before they know it are lulled into death! NO! You were meant to fight and take everything back that was stolen from you, your family and ultimately God! You didn't come this far to quit and leave your child to defend herself, not now, not yet she is not ready, your family needs to go through this season together.

Yes this will be a season of great pain & great joy. Any relationship of any real worth & value does not come by cheap.

There is an answer, and His name is Jesus. God is calling parents of this nation to fight back, draw boundaries and to turn toward God and leave our mistakes behind where they belong so that God can restore the family. Patience & Determination are the keys that will eliminate her attitude, a disease called "You Owe Me!" What we first do is stop what we have been doing for a long time. Stop running to rescue your child. Stop making & giving them excuses. Stop "spoiling" them and let them take responsibility for their choices. It is time to relearn, restore,and redeem what has been lost. We need to get down on our knees and ask for forgiveness and cry out to God for wisdom. We need to come together, as the Body of Christ, and make a clean cut from the ways of the world. We have to surrender, and get ready to make some sacrifices. True prosperity will come to those who seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first. We need to return to the priorities, and that is to live a life surrendered to the will and purpose of God. This, in the grand scheme of things, is our version of the term "troubled teen", and a basic understanding how we propose to deal with it. If we have offended anyone...well, then we are sorry. But someone needs to stop "sugar-coating" the conversation just for the sake of making everyone feel better. We need to teach our children by example, and the first thing we can do is to hold ourselves accountable! Take responsibility! Here at New Life Academy we are dedicated to overcoming their attitude of "You Owe Me", and we will do it by teaching good old fashion values, insisting upon living by longstanding proven principles, the partnering of the family and demonstrating the unconditional love of God. May God bless you and your family.